The Art of Growing "Old"

I hate to break the news, but you are going to be part of the "geriatric" population someday.  I have worked with this population for quite some time...and now I am almost one of THEM!

People talk a lot about preparing for old age.  Our culture puts much emphasis on health prevention and financial planning.  You can read it almost anywhere.  The concept is that good health and money will be all you need to secure a "happy" future.

I think these things are very important, but I notice there is very little emphasis on what I think is the most important practice of all...the practice of Grace.  I wish I would have started this practice a long time ago, because I can now see that this is the most important part of getting older.  Money and health are always out of our control...Grace is not. 

I will not go into the biblical meaning of Grace, but many of my beliefs are Christian based. 

My Mom used to say she wanted to "grow old gracefully".  I used to think she meant not to be hung up about the wrinkles or gray hair.  I really don't know what she meant by it, but I have come to believe it is an art that is to be practiced.  I believe this because I see so many in this population that are bitter and depressed.  Why?  A combination of reasons...but mostly because they cannot do what they used to do anymore.  Basically, everyone's body eventually wears out.  That is why Grace is so important and much easier to come by if a person started the practice early on. 

I will outline a couple of the things I have now started to practice.  Most of them I got from the Bible.  I think these are helpful at any age and I can guarantee if they are not practiced, growing old will NOT be "golden".

Be happy for others.  As I grow older there are many experiences that I will never have or are over. There are activities I can no longer do.  One remedy is to find new interests.  Another is to be truly interested in the lives of others.  It is better to be a cheerleader than to sit on the sideline angry that you can't be in the game.

Select your memories.  I have a huge scrapbook of memories in my brain.  I get to choose which ones I think about and I like to pick the ones that make me feel good.  If I get saddened because I cannot go back in time, I feel grateful that I actually had the wonderful experience.  After all, isn't that why we spend so much time making memories?

Love your old body.  Our society is horrific when it comes to looking youthful.  Loving my aging body is a very difficult practice.  I try to marvel at how many movements my body has been through, but I am sad that my body is getting older.  Probably the most important aspect of Grace and the hardest is acceptance.

Those are just a few things I work on.  For me, I just know I DO NOT want to grow into what I see in so many of my patients.  I see people who are bitter because their "hay days" are almost over.  I have a feeling that the happy ones I see have practiced an attitude of grace for a very long time.

When I was young and would have read this, I would have thought, "I'll worry about that later, I'm still young and don't have to bother with that."  Wisdom is mostly retrospective.  In my opinion, if I had to pick which is the most important thing to prepare for old age...I would definitely choose Grace.

God's Wink ;-)

First, I apologize for the cheesy picture....but it will all make sense to you very soon.

There have been too many "just coincidences" in my life.  The timing is too uncanny and incredible to just chalk it up to probability.  I call these moments "winks from God".  With some googling, I found out I am not alone...there are even books written about it.

I could write about so many of these moments, but I want to share a recent story that may have been "just coincidence"... or not.

I drive a lot on my job, and I see a lot of "beggars" on the corner.  I can never decide if I should give something, so this summer I decided to try an "experiment".

The rules went like this:  I keep dollar bills on my console,  Every time I am the first car stopped at the intersection, I am to give the beggar a dollar...no matter what.  I really don't know why I decided to do this and with these particular rules.  I just made the decision and went with it.

All summer long I probably gave away two dollars total.  And then last week, I had this most unusual experience:

At the end of the day, I came to a stop light and saw the most dirty and ugly beggar ever.  I couldn't read his sign, but he was kinda scary looking. I rolled down my window and put out my dollar.  He hobbled over and leaned close to the window and gently took the dollar with filthy hands. His red and watery eyes connected with mine as he said a very heartfelt "God bless you".   Immediately, "Jesus on the cross" was the thought that pierced through my mind.  (Trust me, I don't usually think like this.)

I had previously decided to swing by Starbucks which was about 2 blocks away.  After ordering at the drive-thru, I had this incredibly long talk with God.  It went something like this: "So God, does it really matter that I gave him a dollar?  Should I have given him more...or maybe not at all?  I mean, what if he uses it to buy wine or something bad?  Wouldn't that be enabling him?  Does it really matter at all God...it was just a stupid dollar.  And not only that God, but my heart wasn't in it.  Aren't I supposed to care about him and feel good about this?  Actually God, I don't.  I am confused and I don't have any feelings at all about what I did.  What do you make of all this God?"

While chattering away, I had made my way to the window to pay for my coffee.  I handed the barista my card and she says,  "Oh no, you don't have to pay...the customer ahead of you paid for it."  I was hit so hard by this, that I did not "pay it forward"...but drove away in a daze.  I knew this was more than a fun "wink" from God, it was more like a "jolt".

I have been processing this for the past week.  I know God was at work to send me a message.  Normally "coincidences" like this build my faith that God is present and at work.  This was different.  This was a lesson. 

Let's look at the "givers".  The person who started the "pay it forward" got no thanks.  Not only that, he or she was giving to people who could afford it and was contributing to a possible caffeine addiction.  That kind of giving makes no sense to me.  I gave a lousy dollar that probably won't make a lot of difference...that makes no sense to me either.

All of my life, I have lived by reason...to try to be a good steward of resources.  I usually give to those I love.  If a give to causes, I have to deem them "worthy".  God has shaken my logic. I am learning something that is extremely difficult for me to fathom...that LOVE is NOT always logical.  I had assumed that I was dealing with a logical God...but maybe not.  Love without reason?  I am still struggling with this irrational awareness: JUST GIVE. 

There was one other thought I had about this small scenario.  In the story, who is the saint?  The beggar had nothing to give, except his blessings from God to me.  I was blessed  5 minutes later...and it was a whole lot more than a free cup of coffee!

 

Just Watch!

There is this skill I have acquired over the years that I want to share with you.  It is called "detached observation".  My first encounter of it was in the study of the sciences.  Scientists are supposed to detach themselves from the outcome and be free of all biases.  To observe without any emotion is very difficult, and one has to be kinda like Spock.                         

Another time I learned this skill was when I trained as a counselor.  We had to listen without any agenda as clients told us their "story".   We were taught to not project our own personal story onto them.  This is actually trickier than science, because we were trying to "relate" and stay separate at the same time.  This is even harder with the people we love. 

The last time I practiced this skill was after my heart was broken.  Practicing detached observation became a way of life to endure the pain of loss. 

Because of all this practicing, I have become skilled at "watching"... and I can choose to watch with or without emotion.  I can even watch myself watch!  I can watch the earth and see all the humans carrying out their individual stories.  I watch the human species like I am a curious alien... apart from all the stories... just watching.

I can watch my own thoughts as if they were objects, and not attach myself to any of them. 

A lot of religions espouse the skill of this emotional detachment.  A person has no pain, because there is no attachment.  Some "new age" people call this living in the "here and now" and call it freedom.

And actually it is freeing and peaceful to let everything be what it is...but it also has a huge cost.

After watching the world go by, no matter if I am viewing from above or from within... I am not "in" the story.  My only story then becomes watching the story.  I am the audience.

There is much power in this posture.   And with that power is the danger of arrogance and passivity.  In some ways it is like playing God.  As I watch in amusement as everyone clings to everything, I am not choosing any sides or involved in any change.  I am worse than someone sitting on the fence with indecision.  I am even above the fence! 

From this lofty viewpoint I see some people getting off the fence and taking a stand.  I don't know if their stand is correct or going to make a difference.  I just see PASSION. 

I am happy that I have this observational skill.  It is useful at times to be like Spock.  But I am not a Vulcan... I am a human.  I want off this perch.  I want to FEEL.  I want a story.  I want to choose a side.

The question is... do I want to watch the show or be in it?  And if  I want to be in it...do I want to sit on the fence or commit to something?  And what would I like to be committed to?

I love Christianity because it is ALL about relationship...and that means attachment.  That is very messy because it involves emotions and drama.

Jesus asks us to be involved in a story...God's story.  We are invited to get off the fence and take a stand...a committment to love in action.

   

    

The "Balloon Poppers"

Beware!  Watch out for the Balloon Poppers. (aka; The Realist or the Pragmatist.) Dreamers...especially be on guard.  They will burst your bubble or let the air out of your tires...and they will do it right in front of you!

I am one of these unpopular "Poppers".  I don't like the job much, but somebody's got to do it.  Why?  My motivation is to be a "steward" of resources.  I don't really have a better reason other then to prevent unnecessary spending of time, money and energy.  There is no emotion to my logic.  POP! 

I wonder how many balloons I pop on a daily basis.  There is quite a trick to it.  You can sugar coat the information, so it isn't as hard to take.  Or you can present the reality with the "silver lining" touch.  But in the end, the facts are the facts no matter how they're wrapped.

Some bubbles need to burst.  (I don't pop them all, because I do not want all hope to be lost.  This is a practical reason for not popping.)    I am just the lady with the information and you get to do what you want with it.  (Don't kill the messenger...or in this case the Popper.)

Balloon popping involves telling the truth.  And the truth is...nobody really wants to hear it...except if it is what they want to hear.  Even though people say they want the truth, in my experience this doesn't seem to be "true".  I bet you don't like hearing that...which proves my point!

I look to Jesus as my role model.  He is the best Popper I know and just look what happened to him! He told the Truth...always.  People still don't want to hear it.  More than anything, I would love to keep everyone's dreams intact.  The problem is that sometimes those dreams do more harm than good.

So I will live with my Popper responsibility.  It is my belief that the truth will set everyone free, but it won't happen until the walls of denial and delusion come crashing down.  In the meantime, I will continue to be as honest with myself and others as gently as I can. 

I don't have the objective of setting everyone free as our Savior did.  For me, I am Popping for the goal to be "safe and sane".  Poppers may be a necessary "evil", so please have a little patience with the Poppers.  Most of us care about the Poppies, or we wouldn't waste our time.

"There's No Place Like Home"

How many times have you watched "The Wizard of Oz"?  I still never tire of it.  Especially the universal theme of seeking that which is "over the rainbow".
 

Every character is seeking something in the story.  For example, courage, heart or intelligence.  But the MAIN character Dorothy is seeking to go HOME.

But what is home?  Over the years, home has been many places for me.  In my youth, home is where my hometown was and where my family lived.  I can remember the feelings of  home "sickness", when I would be away at camp or college and long to be back "home".  That place of comfort, predictability and safety.

I still have deep longings for "home", but it is different now.  Like Dorothy, I still live in "Kansas", which I call Spokane.  Some of my main characters are gone now.  My mother and father have passed on, and I have an apartment I call "home".  But I still feel like I am in a dream, looking for the "yellow brick road" to lead me home.

For me, the whole experience of my life has not been unlike this movie classic.  I have spent most of my time trying to find the permanent and perfect home.  My brain knows it does not exist on this earth, and yet I have this longing for this kind of home I KNOW exists somewhere. (If not over the rainbow... then where???) 

I have come to believe that this "Home" is heaven, and the parent always available is God.  I have faith in this because nothing else can explain this longing...and it is universal.   Sometimes when I pray, I am really writing letters Home...just like a kid away at camp.  I feel like I do not belong here, and it is a temporary visit.  I long to be reunited with my Perfect Parent...Permanently.

I found it quite astonishing to read this in the Bible.  In Hebrews, the author talks about main characters of the Bible who had all lived by faith.  Here is what he has to say about them...
 
"And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth.  People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own.  If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would  have had opportunity to return. Instead they were longing for a better country - a heavenly one.  Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them."  
  -Hebrews 11:13-16

I don't have the answers for many things...like what I am supposed to do while I am here.  All I know is, like Dorothy I do long to be Home.  There are times when I feel very close to Home, and I don't need a "wizard" to take me there.  If I told you how simple it was, you wouldn't believe me.  Just close your eyes and repeat over and over... "There's no place like Home". (And don't forget to tap your ruby slippers while you do this!)

That is the advice that Glenda the witch gave to Dorothy and maybe she is right.  Maybe Home is not over the rainbow.  Maybe it is closer than we know.  Maybe we don't have to wait until we get off this planet.  Maybe we can have a few moments when we are "here" and Home.  Jesus said it best:

"The kingdom of God does NOT come with your careful observation, nor will people say 'Here it is, ' or 'There it is,' because the kingdom of God is WITHIN YOU."  -Luke 17:20-21.





                                                         

Word Wednesday: Commitment

If  I could write one book, I would call it "The Meaning of Commitment."  If I could change my childhood, I would wish to be taught the true meaning and practice of this word.

I have talked about how we all use words and assume everyone agrees on the definition.  I think that most people think commitment means to keep a promise.  This is such a narrow view, because it does not factor in the quality.  For example,  married couples may never leave or forsake their partners, and are perceived as committed.  But what is the level?  What is the quality?

Commitments can be as easy as deciding to turn left when driving.  They can be short term, or long term.  I think we all understand that kind of decision making.  What I never understood was the complexity of all commitments...and the daily decisions they are made of.  EVERY decision we make is a reflection of what we are committed to.

Actually it is as simple as this analogy:  A garden needs daily work or the weeds will take over and the flowers will die.  If we have too many gardens, there will not be enough resources to take care of them, or we will die trying.

For me, I wish I would have learned this a long time ago, because I would understand DAILY work is necessary for a quality garden... a quality life.  I would also know the impact of making a lifetime commitment, and all that entails.  I would have also learned that I cannot do it all.  And I would know with all choices, there is something I will lose.

I have enjoyed much of my life.  I have loved much and experienced so many things.  The two missing pieces were putting love and commitment together.  That is a great sadness for me.  I cannot change my past, and I won't preach.  I can only share what I have learned from my own mistakes.

Selective Thought

Everyone is always thinking something.  I have done a lot of thinking about thinking itself.

The most fascinating thing I have realized is the vast freedom we all have in thought.  At any point in time I have an infinite number of possible thoughts.  I can freely choose them from my base of knowledge and experience.  In addition, I have my imagination to organize all of that.

Our minds are the only place of  freedom and solitude. We are the only ones in charge of how we think and there is no person who can know.  Freedom is what we all desire...and there is no freer place than in our mind.

I think most of us take this awareness for granted, but I don't think most of us realize the dangers of this freedom.   For me, I realized that some of my thoughts were harmful to myself.   Some thoughts can lead to places of despair.  It takes much objectivity to not buy into them, but then I think, "What thoughts should I buy into then?"  This thought led to places of confusion.  I began to understand that much of what we call "insanity", is just a misuse of the freedom of our mind.

I am beginning to discover something quite paradoxical.  The more I experience my freedom, the more I want to harness it.  This is especially true for my mind.  I cannot handle the freedom.  If I let my mind go where it wants, I am like a child dizzy from spinning in circles.

It is much easier to put a rein on my behavior than my thoughts.  I can think much more faster than I move.  All I know is that it is very important for me to exercise the practice of "Selective Thought".  I am beginning to know the paths of thought that lead to places I should not go.  Even though these places do not exist in reality, my mind can be easily fooled.  These are just thoughts I shouldn't "entertain", like uninvited guests.

I love the Bible for this.  I have found an answer for my "freedom".  There is much in the Bible about freedom and obedience...of body, mind and soul.

I need help in keeping a "rein" on my thoughts.  The Jews used a "yoke" to join two animals together...much like a rein.  It is still my choice what I will think, but I no longer carry the burden of the chaos created by my own free thinking.  Giving away my freedom has made me free.

Jesus says:  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.  -Matthew 11:28-30. 

The Label Effect

Label: a descriptive or identifying word or phrase. 

That seems simple enough.  But don't let the simplicity fool you.  Please allow me to take you on a personal tour of what I call "the label effect".  I have to make it personal because it is...but it can be "applied" to everyone. (Pun intended)

      

It all started on the day I was born.  My parents gave me a name.  I needed to be called something because let's face it...life would be quite difficult if everyone was called "Baby".  I suppose everyone could be given a number.  For obvious reasons it was necessary to have this first label.  However, no matter what I was called...I would still be "me". 

Along the way, I started gathering some other descriptive labels.  Depending on who you talked to and on what day...I was given some labels we now call personality traits.  I have been "tagged" with many labels...good and not so good.  Most people would like me to be consistent with these "traits" so that I would be more predictable.  And we need to describe ourselves to others, so they can get to know us and what to expect from us.  No matter how I am described, the fact remains...I would still be "me".

Later on I got some different labels.  Some were roles I played...sister, daughter, wife, mother, student, etc.  I also gathered up some professional titles.  These actually impressed some people.  I also gathered some health diagnoses...people didn't quite know what to make of them.  After a lifetime of label gathering...I am still "me" (with the new label of "senior"...which I get discounts for!)

The amazing thing about labels is that we cannot live without them.  Our minds have to categorize so that we can make some sense of the world we live in.  The negative result is that we miss the ESSENCE of the person we have boxed in with labels.  It is maddening to be perceived through the lens of my labels.  I am not my labels, not even the good ones.  And you are not yours.  So this is the great question, that the search for identity demands..."Who am I if I am not my labels?"

Well, "I am".   And you are too.   We are all a part of the BIG "I AM".

"The label effect" is nearly impossible for anyone to escape, but it is the only way to truly experience the "real" essence of another.

Imperfect Teachers

I have a dilemma.  I love to help people.  And the way I love to help them is through teaching with words.  However, I do not always "walk my talk", which comes across as "do as I say and not as I do".  The question I am pondering is...does it matter?   Before taking a stand on this, I want to dig a little deeper.

The last time I checked, I wasn't perfect.  Well actually...not even close.  Perfect is a hard word to define.  Basically, I am not being the "best" I can be in the areas of physical, mental, psychosocial and spiritual aspects of my well being.  Some of us may have a belief system that a person cannot be an effective teacher because of this...or worse yet, is a hypocrite. 

I have been a physical therapist for 30 years.  I rarely follow my own advice, and I know for a fact that I have made a difference in the quality of hundreds of lives.  Here is the funny thing...if I TOLD my patients that I don't follow my own advice, I would not have been  nearly as effective.  Why is that?

Let's take an example of an overweight, smoking MD who has a wicked bedside manner.  BUT he is brilliant in his field of practice.  Why would not "walking his talk" make him a poor guide to YOUR improved health?   Instead of going to the gym and spending time with his family, maybe he is pouring over the latest medical research to save YOUR life. (While eating donuts, of course.)

Psychology poses the same question.  I have seen some great clinicians with messed up lives.  Do their personal imperfections and failures make their advice less effective or invalid?  Or is there the possibility that their imperfect personal and family life might be the very thing that drove them to learn all the things YOU are now benefiting from?

I remember a time at my office when I was giving marital advice to a friend.  Another coworker said to me "Who are you to give marriage advice, you're divorced!"  Wow.  There it was:  The ASSumption that if you are not walking your talk, or have failed at it...your advice is useless. The truth of the matter was...I had A LOT of great advice, because I had learned from my failures.  The sad part was that my advice, as useful as it could have been was tossed.  My friend bought into the belief system the other coworker preached.  I too am guilty of this prejudice: Bad role model=useless teaching.

Now let's move on to the spiritual arena.  Have you ever known a preacher of pastor who was truly a great teacher of morality...and didn't always follow his own advice?   History is full of these "hypocrites".  And yet, their teachings actually changed many lives for the better.  When the hypocrisy was discovered, much of their good guidance was thrown out with them. 

Here is the point:  THE MESSENGER IS NOT THE MESSAGE

As for me...I want to help people.  It really doesn't matter if I follow my own advice...the content remains the same.   HOWEVER there is an EXCEPTION to this...in the Christian arena it DOES matter.  According to this message, the messenger must "walk the talk" also.

I want to be a messenger for the message of God.  I love to help people.  I know I will never be able to walk my talk in all the arenas of life.  But I do know that to practice what I preach in God's arena is imperative.  The lesson is for all...including the imperfect teacher!

Games

I love games and I hate them.  I love the ones that are fun or challenging.  I think most people enjoy a good game.  The ones I hate are the ones I must use to survive in this world.  These are the real life games that everyone engages in, whether they realize it or not.

How did we learn about games?  It might have started with a simple "peek-a-boo".  So here's what happens:  Mommy is thrilled because she can make baby laugh with a game.  It is fun for the both of them!  One day, baby has learned that one way to get attention is to "play" a game.  This is not a "bad" baby.  This is just a baby learning how to get his needs met in order to SURVIVE.

As the child is exposed to the world, he or she learns all kinds of games.  In our society, most games are about competition, either one against one, or team against team.  Even in collaborative efforts, there is some type of goal to "win".  There is virtually no way to escape this playing field.  I believe this because I think life is a game of "SURVIVAL of the fittest".  This is why brains, brawn, beauty and money go such a long way.  They are all arsenal to get what you want and need in the world.  This is purely observational with no judgement implied.

As an example, let's say I am hungry.  I can beg, borrow or steal.  If I beg, I will be more successful in getting fed if I appeal to a person's sympathy...a game.  If I steal, I will have to be crafty enough to not get caught.   If I borrow, I would have to find a way of paying it back.  If I go out and get a job, I will have to have some level of skills to do that.  Perhaps I will have to learn the game of how to land a job in the competitive market place.  As a free adult, I am not free of the competition it takes to survive.  No one is.

I believe that the world has demonstrated the survival of the fittest since the beginning of time.  We can look as "humane" as we want to look, but the survival instinct may be the strongest instinct we have.  I have met "survivalists" who are very kind and care for others, but believe that their physical life is what counts the most.  They are driven to prepare for the worst by this instinct. 

I have been playing the survival game for a long time, I was just unaware of it.  To be honest, it is getting to be quite tiring.  I ponder the point of it all.  I have said that I would like my epitaph to read "What was that all about?"

One possible answer to that question...is that I am part of an evolving planet.  What I do on this earth will contribute to making the earth a better place.  That may be true, but all I can see is the human species on a path of self-destruction.  That answer does not satisfy my "soul".

MY SOUL?  What the heck is that?  We all use this word, and somehow think it means something.  What does it mean when we say "sell my soul" or "save my soul"?  I know all about selling and saving in my physical world, but what is this soul?

As humans, we relate to games.  And for good reason...to survive.  But what if there is something that is to be saved, that is more important than my physical survival?  Is there a game that I could or should be playing?  Christianity points to this "other" game.  It is very different than what we play on earth.  It actually goes against our survival instinct.  The rules of this game state that the soul is way more important and worthy than earthly life.  It declares that to save it, you must be willing to lose your physical life...which is going against our basic survival instinct.  And yet we are to cherish the life we are always willing to lose.

This game is a lot more complicated than the earth games I am used to.  The battlefield is invisible.  The strategies are complicated.  It is a game between the forces of Good and Evil.  If I am to take part in this game, I MUST choose a side.  From my own personal experience, I have found that just tinkering with this game is not a good idea.

Like I said, I am very tired of the game of survival.  It is all going to pass away anyway.  I have to ask myself, am I ready for ANOTHER game?  Especially one that I cannot see?  For me, I now see two games...the game of physical survival and the game of soul survival.

When the rules of each game come into conflict, I will have to make a decision.  I will have to decide which game is more important and respond to that.  It may be a sacrificial move...against my survival instinct.  To the world this will look insane.  I believe this may be the only game that matters.  If it is not, then we are all just "dust in the wind".  

Who wrote the book?

Every week, I ponder what I shall blog about.  Like some kind of Internet forum, my head is full of a thousand unrelated threads.  So I wait for the inspiration to come on its own.
And Voila! There it was:

I wouldn't call myself an avid reader, but I have a deep LOVE AFFAIR going on with books.  This picture transported me to the time of that budding romance.  I recall FORCING my Mom to teach me to read. I even remember the first words I could read...  "cat, hat, bat".  I remember the excitement of that moment.  I WAS READING!

A lot of people don't like to read.  And the ones who do, do so for a variety of reasons.  I began reading for the pure pleasure of it and to escape into other worlds that were MUCH more exciting than mine.  Later, reading became a means to gain information.  Sadly, I gave up much of my "pleasure" reading (TV shows and movies were easier and faster).  Next, I was a "student" and books became a source of knowledge for me.

I grew up with the belief that knowledge was power and began seeking this "power" early on.  I believed that my studies in physical therapy and psychology would give me the "power" to heal.  I have relied heavily on the idea that I can find the answer to anything in a book.  In reality, to be an "authority" on even just one small tiny subject, would take a lifetime.  I didn't know it at the time, but  I was "seeking" authority.  And I was looking for it in the written word.

What intrigued me about this cartoon, was the concept of books being "friends".  It is the whole idea of "authorship" that I am now pondering.  Just consider the word "author"...or "author"ity.  Everything I read is written by a unique human being.  Not one of them is a final authority on anything.  There is just too much to know.  And yet I have a deep longing to have this "author"ity figure...who knows EVERYTHING!  (Where did that desire come from???)
  
There are certain authors I connect to.  I devour all they have written and I feel like I know them.  There is a friendship.  If I were to meet my favorite authors, it would probably surprise them how well I knew them. But they don't know me at all.  Wouldn't it be too cool if the friendships were two-way?   I am sure that is why so many of us have fantasies of becoming deep intimate friends with authors and songwriters.

So I am sitting now, surrounded by books written by "friends" that are near and dear to me.  I am also typing on a computer that has access to a megaXmega storehouse of knowledge.  I realize that all of this was "authored" by somebody.   I am beginning to understand that every single person I meet has a story.  Although unwritten, the story is still there.  So in a sense, we are each unpublished stories, with our self as the main character.   

Even though everyone has their own story, the question I pose is..."Who is the author?"  I mean...who is the REAL AUTHOR of the story about me or about you...or anything?  I can tell you right now, that the story I tell you about myself was not CREATED or AUTHORED by me.  I am just the storyteller.  And there is the possibility that the story I tell you about me...really isn't about me. It might just be a subplot of a bigger story!

In my lifetime, I have gotten "goo-goo" over many books and many authors.  I share them with my friends.  I am certain at the time that I have found the BEST book ever!  But sooner or later, I find some flaws in the philosophy or the methodology it proposes.  And I am disappointed that my author was not the "author"ity I had hoped for.

But I have some very GOOD news.  I have finally found THE book I was looking for. Yes, I think I actually found it!  I didn't want to shout about it too soon, because I have a track record of jumping on the nearest band wagon...when it comes to books with an answer.

Anyway, if  you haven't heard, it is called the Bible.  It is WAY different than any book I have ever read.  I never get tired of reading it.  It has a story line that is fantastic. If just one person wrote it, I would call it excellent fiction. If a handful of people wrote it over a twenty year period, I would have to say it might be true.  The amazing thing is.... this book claims to have over 40 writers over the course of 1500 years...and yet it reads like a cohesive story written by one person.  HOW COULD THAT BE?

And wait there is more...  the AUTHOR of the Book is GOD?!  Is THAT what I have been seeking all along?  And this book says that the book itself is already written on my heart?!  I mean how mindblowing is that?..Seeking my heart's deepest desires lead me back to a book that led me back to my core...my AUTHOR! 

I could go on and on about the beauty of the Bible.  At this point I must confess that the last thing I ever wanted to be was a "Bible thumper".  And just look what has happened....that's how amazing it is! 
 
And wait, there is more...according to His book, our Author WANTS to have a two-way relationship with ME and all of his readers!  An Author who responds to his fan mail...anytime.

And that is where "cat, hat, bat" has taken me to.  Millions of words later, I feel the same joy of discovery now that I felt at that moment.  That is one of my many personal stories...and my telling it may be my part in a bigger story.  For me, that makes it worth telling.  Thank you for reading!

INTER-depedence Day

Today our country celebrates Independence Day.  You always know the importance of a holiday, because they don't move the date around so people can have Monday off.  So this holiday must be really important and probably deserves some reflection.

When I hear the word "independence", I associate it with a lot of things.  Freedom is the first thing that comes to mind.  I don't think there is a person alive who does not like to "hear" the word. "Let freedom ring" kind of sums that up.  I think about the times in my life when I have felt independent.  For example, driving solo in the car for the first time after getting my license.

We LOVE our independence so much, we will do anything for it.  We will fight for it. We will die for it.  Everyday on my job, I see an elderly population slowing losing their freedom.  Some will hang onto their independent living style, even if they are endangering their life on a daily basis. 

But what about the word "dependence"?  I think it has a bad "ring" for all of us.  Who wants do be dependent on anyone or anything?  I don't know if this is the result of an inborn desire, or of a culture that makes its very foundation on the concept itself.  I think dependency has been highly underrated, and this is why:  YOU CAN'T HAVE INDEPENDENCE WITHOUT DEPENDENCE.  Actually, you can't survive without being dependent, so it actually deserves the higher ranking.

Our culture perpetuates a myth that dependence is a "bad" thing.  We may not like it, but it is a lie to ignore it.  The truth is we live in a world...a system, or possibly a bigger system than that.  Everything we do effects it and it effects us.  We are blinded to this for some odd reason.  I am fooled by it too.

The way I live looks like I am very independent.  I have my own apartment, job, car.  I pay my own way, and when things break I can either do it myself, or pay to have it done.  Yep, I don't need anything or anyone.  I cannot believe I actually DO believe this!

Sit and consider how dependent you truly are.  If you had nothing but yourself and nature to get by, you would still be dependent upon nature. 

Don't get me wrong.  I adore that there are freedoms in this country that I can experience  no where else.  I am grateful that I have a say in what happens and not ruled by a dictator.  I love so many of the freedoms that our country continues to uphold and fight for.

 I celebrate today.  And because of today, I am able to openly celebrate the holidays of my faith that give me an even greater freedom.

Word Wednesday: Obedience

Does anyone really like the feelings this word elicits?  "Obey!"  It makes me feel like a dog.  I took my dog to "obedience" school.  For me, this word is associated with other words that "rub" me the wrong way.  Words like... should, must, no choice, restraint.  I can almost feel a noose tightening around my neck!  And my initial reaction is RUN!   When there is no place to run, I can dig in my heels or rebel.  ANYTHING but do what I am told.

I don't think I'm alone here.  I think something at the human core becomes threatened...FREEDOM!  Now there's a word that elicits GOOD feelings.  I associate this word with floating or flying.  The word feels light.  Whereas obedience feels heavy.  I wish I could find a synonym.  I know... how about "Respond!".  Changing the word is just a way of tricking my brain into thinking that I am the one making the choice.  In actuality I may be obeying, but the word "respond" does not trigger the same emotions as "obey".   It's like saying, "I respond to my husband's needs." vs "I obey my husband."  See what I mean about word choice?

But regardless of the words used, what is really going on here?  I remember the day that my first grandson James learned how to crawl.  There were videos posted, and everyone was celebrating his new found freedom.  The very next week, I was talking on the phone with my daughter and I hear her say, "James...no!"   It dawned on me at the time, that this was the beginning of his ongoing dilemma of freedom and "obedience"... or the way I choose to say it... freedom and "response" ability. (That's because I don't like the word responsibility either!)

So what the heck is going on here?  On the planet, no one is truly free.  We are all stuck in a body with the rules of gravity.  So in a sense, we are all "trapped" and not free.  So why is the desire to be free at our core?  We are not physically free on earth...but yet it is written in our hearts to long for it.  In my post regarding the word "perfect", I bring up the same point.  Why is it on our hearts to seek perfection? 

It is written, "For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."  Matthew 7:8.

Why do I bring this up?  Because for years I have been trying to identify what all people have in common.  I think I am beginning to understand what "seeking God" really means.  When I really observe the human species I see people longing for perfection...freedom...eternal life...to never be alone.  These desires are deeply ingrained into our DNA.  The problem is, none of them can be found on this planet.  If these things are not attainable on this planet, then I beg the question WHY DO THEY EXIST AT OUR CORE?

Obedience is not written in my core.  However, as a semi-intelligent earthling, I do know that without rules there is chaos.  (I won't go into the insanity of some the Leviticus laws of the Bible or some the laws of our country.) 

My conclusion is, there must be a reason for these deep longings.  There are commandments to be obeyed and somehow they tie into the longings.  If I "respond" to them will I find what I am longing for?  Am I willing to find out?

At this point, I have taken the first few steps of this Christian journey.  It is one of those things that you have to experience for yourself.  I will say that the kind of "obedience" required here does not have the same "look" as a well trained military school.  People all dressed the same, saying the same thing.  On the contrary, part of the commandment is to adore individuality.

It is written, "My COMMAND is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."  John 15:12

And so here we have ANOTHER thing we are SEEKING at our core.  Someone to love us so much that they would be willing to die for us.   What is your "response" to that?

Word Wednesday: Motivation

Motivation has been a word I have been pondering for quite some time.

It all started when I was about 3, and asked "Why?"  Yes, I know all children start driving their parents crazy with this question at some point...but I never quit.  It must be human nature to ask this question, because everyone does.  But "why" do some people become obsessed with it?  (See, there I go again!)  I know I have annoyed many people over the years, and I have had many great discussions with other "why people".  In most of the discussions I have had, we usually end up with more questions.  Especially when it comes to motivation.

I became intrigued with psychology early on, because I wanted to know "why" people are the way they are.  I found some answers, but when it comes to motivation...good luck!  It has taken me a long time to surrender to the fact that I will never know another's true motivation.  Only God knows.  There is a lot in the Bible about motivation (or the heart of man).  God is very serious about this.

To me, motivation is the reason we do or think what we do.  I am making an assumption here, that there is a motive to all action and thought.  Possibly not.  We do a lot of things that are reflexive or reactive, or without thought.  Like breathing, I don't have much choice about that.  Already, this becomes complicated...  motives may be unconscious (a habit), subconscious (a reason that we are unaware of), or conscious (aware). 

Motivation could be a thought or emotional state.  Think for a moment... why do you get out of bed every morning?  If you are not being lifted out of the crib anymore, something motivates you.  So what is the thought or emotion that leads you to action?  If you look hard, there is a least one motive for every action.  When I examine why people do what they do, it is usually "multi-motivational".  (I just made up a new word!)

Let's take an example of over-eating.  There could be many reasons for this behavior...  a mother who consoled the child with food, or an unloving father and the child turned to food for comfort.  Or... it could be because of habit, comfort, boredom, distraction, rebellion, pleasure.  OR ALL of these reasons, mixed together.  And I must beg the question:  DOES KNOWING "WHY" REALLY HELP CHANGE THE BEHAVIOR?  My verdict...no.

Let's take another example.  When somebody does something nice for you, what is their motivation?  Does it matter? Most of us will answer that it does matter.  We don't want to feel manipulated, or that we owe something, or that they did it out of guilt.  We want to think their motive was their honest love and concern for us.  If I said to my patients that I am just helping them for the paycheck, it probably wouldn't go over too well.

What about your own motivation?  Does it matter?  Mine started to matter when I started not to care.  I realized that I was not changing or growing, for many reasons.  But one of the main reasons was motivation.

Last week, I talked about seeking perfection.  This used to be a motive for me...to be perfect.  That turned out to be disastrous.  I started watching and listening to people.  Most people are motivated by "What's in it for me".  Just look at the greed all around us...and I include myself.  I am not so sure this motive is great either.  But like seeking perfection, it drives our economy.

I am in the health care field, and one of the biggest challenges is motivating people to make long term commitments to healthy lifestyles.  The reality is that this will save millions of health care dollars.  The statistics are staggering at the low percentage of people who make these changes permanent.  And there is neuropsychological research to explain why this is so.  It is discouraging.

I don't know the solution.  But I do know that motivation lies at the core.  I do know that a culture that is motivated by "What's in it for me", will not last as long as one motivated by "What's in it for WE."  That kind of belief involves motivation that includes sacrifice of self for the greater good.  I know where you can find the PERFECT role model if you're interested. 

Word Wednesday: Perfect

"Perfect!"   I think most people love to hear and say this word.  Most of the time it produces "positive" emotions.  An exception might be when it is describing my opponent's performance in a competition where I have a lot at stake.  Then the word might elicit feelings of anger, fear or envy.  You know, all those not-so-good feelings.  Unless.... I am the "perfect" good sport...in which case I experience positive feelings again.

I am fascinated by this word.  Think of the synonyms...  "Bull's eye!"  "A-One!"  "Bingo!"  "Magnifico!"  "Dead on!"   There is a wonderful feeling elicited when I hear words like this.  And I want to feel that more!

I sometimes wonder about all this seeking for perfection.  Most of us seem to do it.  We seek the "perfect" clothes, job, lifestyle, car, home, relationships.  You name it.  For many, it is hard to be satisfied with anything less.  It actually fuels our economy.  For a moment, I am NOT going to assume "seeking perfection" is always a good thing.  If you have read my other posts, you will notice what I think about ASSumptions.

For one thing, perfection DOES NOT imply morality.  I think we all hear a word and assume it implies goodness, because the word sounds good.  Remember... there is the "perfect" murder and "perfect" revenge. 

I can see the downside to seeking perfection.  An example is the "perfect" relationship.  Many of us are told not to "settle" when choosing a life partner.  What does that mean??  Perfection is unattainable, not permanent, and an ideal based upon our imagining of what it is.  It is also very subjective.  My idea of perfection is unique only to myself.  It is a private "bar-setting" I possess, and you may or may not meet my standards.  How does THAT make you feel?  This bar-setting of expectations is usually based on some ideal.  What happens if it is too high... or too low?  Or what if there was no bar at all?

When I was young I was told, "Just do the best you can."  That started me on a path of seeking perfection, and to find out what "best" meant.  Because of this, I became what others call a "perfectionist".  And this also lead to other labels, such as idealistic, controlling, inflexible, intolerant and OCD(ish). I was also full of anxiety and insecurity.  The good news was that this seeking perfection served me well in school and the workplace.  It was not so helpful in the world of relationships.  (I love that my dentist is a perfectionist...I am not sure I would want to live in her house.)

I am really writing this post, because it fascinates me that this seeking is almost ingrained in our souls.  It is such a stong desire.  For most of my life, I was seeking perfection in the world.  This is crazy because it is unattainable.  So now, I am seeking inner perfection which is equally unattainable.  The irony is, that in a lifetime of seeking perfection, I actually found it...but it isn't at all what I thought it would be.  And although the seeking brought me to it...it was there all along.  (Yes, Dorothy...if you are a Wizard of OZ fan.)

I think there may be a different "feel" to the perfection I have found.  It is not temporary and it is attainable.  It is actually paradoxical...because it is a perfection that does not require seeking...because it already exists.  I don't have the exact words... but this kind of perfection does feel different .  It resonates deep within me and "rings" true.   It is different than a "hole in one!" kind of feeling.  It is more like a "whole in one".

So now what?  I can continue to do my "best", whatever that might mean...but "perfection" is just another word and it does not define me.  If it does define me, it defines everyone... we all might be just plain "perfectly imperfect". 

Word Wednesday: "Word"

Talking about the word "word" sounds like it might be boring.  I mean just look at it... four little letters;  w-o-r-d. That's it.  And yet the most read book in history is also known as "The Word".  So maybe these four letters deserve a bit of attention.

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."  -John 1:1

Hmm...that is kind of interesting.  So, what exactly does this word "word" mean? 

For me, "word" is just something I use to make sentences out of.  So what's the big deal?  I ASSumed that this definition is true for all cultures across all time.  I was pretty amazed to find out that I WAS WRONG. All words mean different things to different people, and it is no different with this word.

To the Jews, "word" had a very distinct meaning.  To most people in the middle east, a word is not just a word, but a POWER that does something.  The Old Testament is full of the POWER of words.  William Barclay writes, "To Jews, a word was far more than a mere sound; it was something which had an independent existence and which actually did things."

I like to ponder this. Word Wednesday is about words: ESPECIALLY the POWER that words can have on our emotions.  And I do believe that our emotions can lead us to action (or inaction).  I don't think I personally have power, but I know my words can.  I know, because I have had my emotions change when I listen to another...and sometimes moved by those emotions to action.  (Don't ASSume that action was for the better...a lot of it was from manipulation or marketing.) 

If you are finding this blog "dry" to read, it is because I haven't chosen the words that "stir" your emotion in some way.  (Or you have better things to do...which you do.  Let me "entice" you some more with magical words!)  Get the picture?

I hate the idea that my words can hurt.  I love the idea that my words can encourage.  I have to believe that the things we do and the words we choose make a difference.  I am the vehicle for this POWER.  So are you.  So is everyone. 

Truly, I wish it wasn't this way.  Why?  Because now that I know this... I have to be RESPONSIBLE and choose my words with care and wisdom.  That might mean I have to talk less, listen more, and act like a grown up...until I become one...maybe.

Yep, this is what happens after the first "Da-Da" . 

And speaking of "Da-Da", I wanted to let you know what happened with the "Word". 

Well.....   "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us".  -John 1:14

Word Wednesday: Chronic

My daughter has a blog with Tip Tuesday.  Every week she writes a tip for Moms.  I decided to steal her idea and have Word Wednesday.  In her blog she has a character called "The Pragmatist".  My blog is different, because it offers nothing useful.  Here is her blog to read instead (or in addition), if you would like something more...pragmatic.  http://holdingthedistaff.blogspot.com/

So back to my blog.  I love to think about words: how we use them, what they mean, their power, their affect on people's emotions and reactions.  Words have the power to communicate or cause great barriers to understanding.  For myself, I make a lot of assumptions about when I use a certain word and what it means to the person I am talking with. I just assume they think it means what I do. However, defining every word we used and what it truly means, would be kind of crazy.

There are even books written about ONE word.  When psychologists do research, they have to define not the word itself, but the contruct of it.  For example, "motivation" has to be defined and measureable.  It really gets quite messy.  If you are interested in this, you would have to take a course on psychometrics.  Basically, it is taking our unclear emotional vocabulary and trying to put it in a measureable scientific box.  So think about that, next time you are reading the latest psychological data. 

Today's word is "chronic".  I really despise this word.  It is defined as long standing, or something that has gone on for a very long time.  In my profession, we use the word for chronic illness, chronic headache or back pain, chronic fatigue. Anyway, you get the picture.  I think that those of us in the medical field don't care for the diagnosis of "chronic" much because it might mean this:

We cannot do much to make any difference.  It fills us and our patients with a sense of defeat.  The only answer we can come up with is "learn to live with it".  I don't think anybody likes to say or hear these words.  So for me, "chronic" brings up feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.  Those are the two hallmark feelings of depression.  So, chronic "disease" may beget chronic complaining, which may lead to chronic answer seeking, which may lead to chronic depression.

Alas, I have no answer to remedy chronic conditions.  Perhaps "learning to live with it" is all I can offer.  So that is why I don't like this word.  For me, it messes with my "healer" fantasy.

Why doesn't anyone use the word "chronic" in an upbeat way.  Can you imagine if we did?  Yes, Ralph has a chronic smile on his face and Sara has chronic happiness syndrome.

Yes...CHRONIC HAPPINESS SYNDROME!  Just imagine the MD writing this on your medical history.  Of course, to diagnosis it, she would assess for a set of symptoms.  One of those symptoms might be not complaining.  And then that might go under the symptom of denial.  So the MD might then send you to a counselor to work through your denial.  Imagine sitting in the chair for your first visit.  The counselor says, "What brings you here?"  And you happily reply, "Oh, I have Chronic Happiness Syndrome."  The good counselor breaks down the walls of denial, and you are cured!   NO WAIT... there is no cure for this.  Remember?  It is CHRONIC.

The point?  It is just a word.  And like all words, it can have the power to define and shape our lives.  In my life and my profession, I have fallen victim to all the associations our society makes with it.  The reality is: we are all just people...not labels...just people.

Just like a car....

Fasten your seat belt, because I am going to take you on an extended metaphor trip....

In so many ways, I am just like a car.  I have not worn a pedometer all my life, so I don't know my mileage.  I also don't know how much real wear and tear I have sustained over the 57 years since this human vehicle was loaned out to me.  I am pretty sure it is a loaner.  I may be the original user, but I did not create this make and model.  My parents might have, but then who created their make and model?

I have an exterior and interior.  I have an electrical, cooling, and exhaust system...just to name a few.  I have mechanical parts called joints, bones, and muscles that like a car become worn out over time.  I am sure there are things under the hood that can't even be reached or diagnosed.  Anyway, I think you get the picture.



Cars take a lot of upkeep if they are going to last awhile.  It is called maintenance and repair.  We all know how much time, money and energy it takes to keep anything running smoothly and to extend its lifetime.  The more complicated the vehicle, the more resources seem to be needed.

Cars are pretty complicated.  There are specialists for body work, cool paint jobs, and engine work.  Some  mechanics are specialized in different areas, like mufflers or brakes.  Still others specialize in specific makes and models.

Human vehicles have a disadvantage because EVERY single one around is its own unique make and model.  We try to make people fit certain categories, to make diagnostics easier...but we are talking about VERY complex and ONE OF A KIND vehicles.   This can make repair and maintenance very challenging at times.  People do not come with a PERSONAL MANUAL!  And to make matters worse, they do not come with a warranty or a guarantee.

But there is more... besides dealing with the complex physical aspects... the human vehicle has EMOTIONS and FREEDOM.  And these emotional aspects are ALSO complex and unique.  I am responsible for taking care of this vehicle loaned to me.  Without a personal manual and with more and more knowledge of this complexity... I become VERY AGITATED... my engine revs, I don't know which gear to pick.  I get stuck in the mud and spin my wheels.  This is NOT good for my vehicle!  And while I am busy figuring out what it needs and how to meet those needs, I miss the trip I am on.

There is more...  I feel like I am on the trip alone sometimes.  Nobody knows my make and model but me.  But I am really happy there are other vehicles on the road.  Some don't follow the rules and I can get road rage.  But for the most part, they too are trying to make this trip without too many breakdowns.  Knowing all of this can at times make me feel overwhelmed and alone.  And knowing all of this has filled me with compassion and grace for my fellow travelers... but only when my tank is full of God's fuel...better known as LOVE.

"Sour Grapes"...YUM!

So, I have heard that several of you bought lottery tickets this week and lost the chance to be a multimillionaire.  You really didn't want to win, did you?  It would have caused so much turmoil in your life:

• You would meet all kind of relatives you didn't know you had, or want to know.
• You would have to decide what to keep, invest, or SHARE.
• You might quit your job and live in luxury with a meaningless couch potato life.
• You might ultimately find out that money really doesn't buy happiness (maybe).
• You would never know who really loved you for yourself or your money.

Anyway, you get the picture.  This is what some people do to cope with the disappointment of a lost dream.  It is called "sour grapes".  I used to think it a silly way to deal with life...but maybe I was wrong. (maybe)

Not so long ago, as I was trying to get over my now former husband.  It was an ugly time full of heartache, grief, etc.  At that time I was sharing my story with anyone who asked.  One day  I was talking about it with a stranger, who had been through the same thing.  Her advice...  "Think about all the things you don't like about him."   Hmmm.....sour grapes.

I have been opposed to this choice in viewpoint for several reasons.  It seems childish, and my brain  knows it is trying to fool itself.  Also, I am of the belief to treat others as I would like to be treated.   However, if I can manage to love the sinner while disliking the behavior, I think this tactic is clean.

In essence, my pride got in the way of using a most practical defense mechanism.  Sometimes, this may be the optimal choice to get through the day.  When I am deeply longing to have something I cannot have, there are several options of thought.  The most important thing for me is that I don't keep the misery of unquenched desire from intruding upon my life.  Using sour grapes is one quick way to snip it in the bud.

In conclusion, I don't recommend this tactic frequently, because one's entire worldview could slowly become "sour" with overuse of this.  However, an occassional sour grape is a fine ingredient when one is trying to make lemonaide out of lemons!  Huh?

Invincible: necessary or "foolish" pride

I am going to come clean about my deep held belief that I am invincible.  I know in my logical mind that I am actually quite fragile and vulnerable to an endless array of things that can go awry in my internal and external world.  And yet... I carry on as if  "this won't happen to me".  Why is that?

I understand why children have this belief...they truly don't KNOW that they are fragile.

I am a physical therapist and do home visits.  Most of my day is full of educating the elderly on fall prevention.  I cannot tell you the number of times I have encouraged the use of lifelines, walkers, and 24 hour supervision for those with precarious balance.  I have noticed a common underlying belief of even very learned and wise seniors who decline my advice because "This won't happen to me."  This denial of logic always astounds me...and even more so because I am also a believer of this totally irrational belief of invincibility.

There are probably several underlying causes, but because it is so universal I am inclined to believe it is a survival mechanism.  Perhaps "denial" of truly knowing our fragility is necessary to get up in the morning.  I mean if we were fully aware of all that could go wrong...we might be afraid to literally take a breath because of all the dangerous microbes!  For some, this is the reality they think about and respond to with constant anxiety.  However, it may be possible their reality is closer to the truth than the "invincible" believers.

So on my job, I have the challenge of breaking through the "invincible" barrier for the purpose of preventing falls which actually saves lives.  I have to be careful because I don't want to encourage a patient to become afraid of falling, because this fear will actually contribute to more falls!  What a pickle.

It is VERY tempting to not address the comfort of the "I am invincible" belief.  Nobody likes to leave their comfort zone.  However, it can become a dangerous obstacle and borders on the line of "foolish" pride.  In the case of my patients...pride may actually cause a fall...which is actually one of the top causes of death in seniors.

Proverbs 16:18  "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall" (NIV) 
I think there may be a literal translation here.

Winsome Wisdom: My first blog

Okay, so this is my first blog.  My daughter Gina has been my inspiration for giving this a try.

I have titled my blog "Winsome Wisdom", because I like words.  Winsome means a kind of innocent, childlike cheerfulness, and wisdom means accumulated knowledge.  I think it would be cool to be/have both.  It might seem like an oxymoron, but maybe...just maybe it isn't.

MAYBE in order to become wise, one must view the world through the eyes of a child.  Those eyes are without prejudice and open to everything.  Could one acquire true wisdom without this untarnished viewpoint?  As an adult, can one truly approach life with an open heart and open mind?  Is it even possible?

In Matthew 18:3.  Jesus says, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

This verse has always been kind of a mystery to me, because I thought I should "grow up".  However, I have found that when I let go of my own preconceptions and assumptions, I learn A LOT!

So the next question is...how does one do this?   I used to do this naturally as a small child.  No practice was needed...what happened?  I wonder if I am even able to return such a vulnerable and open place.  It sure is a nice place to plant my imagination.  A very nice place......garden like.