Word Wednesday: Perfect

"Perfect!"   I think most people love to hear and say this word.  Most of the time it produces "positive" emotions.  An exception might be when it is describing my opponent's performance in a competition where I have a lot at stake.  Then the word might elicit feelings of anger, fear or envy.  You know, all those not-so-good feelings.  Unless.... I am the "perfect" good sport...in which case I experience positive feelings again.

I am fascinated by this word.  Think of the synonyms...  "Bull's eye!"  "A-One!"  "Bingo!"  "Magnifico!"  "Dead on!"   There is a wonderful feeling elicited when I hear words like this.  And I want to feel that more!

I sometimes wonder about all this seeking for perfection.  Most of us seem to do it.  We seek the "perfect" clothes, job, lifestyle, car, home, relationships.  You name it.  For many, it is hard to be satisfied with anything less.  It actually fuels our economy.  For a moment, I am NOT going to assume "seeking perfection" is always a good thing.  If you have read my other posts, you will notice what I think about ASSumptions.

For one thing, perfection DOES NOT imply morality.  I think we all hear a word and assume it implies goodness, because the word sounds good.  Remember... there is the "perfect" murder and "perfect" revenge. 

I can see the downside to seeking perfection.  An example is the "perfect" relationship.  Many of us are told not to "settle" when choosing a life partner.  What does that mean??  Perfection is unattainable, not permanent, and an ideal based upon our imagining of what it is.  It is also very subjective.  My idea of perfection is unique only to myself.  It is a private "bar-setting" I possess, and you may or may not meet my standards.  How does THAT make you feel?  This bar-setting of expectations is usually based on some ideal.  What happens if it is too high... or too low?  Or what if there was no bar at all?

When I was young I was told, "Just do the best you can."  That started me on a path of seeking perfection, and to find out what "best" meant.  Because of this, I became what others call a "perfectionist".  And this also lead to other labels, such as idealistic, controlling, inflexible, intolerant and OCD(ish). I was also full of anxiety and insecurity.  The good news was that this seeking perfection served me well in school and the workplace.  It was not so helpful in the world of relationships.  (I love that my dentist is a perfectionist...I am not sure I would want to live in her house.)

I am really writing this post, because it fascinates me that this seeking is almost ingrained in our souls.  It is such a stong desire.  For most of my life, I was seeking perfection in the world.  This is crazy because it is unattainable.  So now, I am seeking inner perfection which is equally unattainable.  The irony is, that in a lifetime of seeking perfection, I actually found it...but it isn't at all what I thought it would be.  And although the seeking brought me to it...it was there all along.  (Yes, Dorothy...if you are a Wizard of OZ fan.)

I think there may be a different "feel" to the perfection I have found.  It is not temporary and it is attainable.  It is actually paradoxical...because it is a perfection that does not require seeking...because it already exists.  I don't have the exact words... but this kind of perfection does feel different .  It resonates deep within me and "rings" true.   It is different than a "hole in one!" kind of feeling.  It is more like a "whole in one".

So now what?  I can continue to do my "best", whatever that might mean...but "perfection" is just another word and it does not define me.  If it does define me, it defines everyone... we all might be just plain "perfectly imperfect".