Lincoln... I've Been Thinkin'

---Land of Lincoln---  That is what is written on most Illinois license plates.  I moved to Bloomington, Illinois about 6 months ago, but I am from another state that is named after our FIRST president.  So what's the big deal, Illinois?  Let me try and shed some light.

The name Abraham Lincoln brings all kinds of images to my mind.  I see pennies and five dollar bills. I think of the Civil War, slavery and the number 16.  When I moved here, I found out that this is the "Land of Lincoln" because he resided and was buried in Springfield, IL, the state capitol.  Other than studies in grade and high school, I knew very little about "Honest Abe." 

I am not a lover of history or politics and put up with it most the time just to be polite. But something happened to me a few weeks ago.  

My sister and daughter were in town visiting, and I decided to show them a tourist attraction: The Lincoln Museum in Springfield.  A few weeks prior to this I happened to watch the movie, "Lincoln".  It perked my interest and whetted my appetite to find out a bit more about the man Illinois boasts about.  Also it should be noted that there are more books written about Lincoln than any other person in history, with the exception of Jesus.

I really didn't want to see more about the Civil War.  I went with the intention of finding out more about this famous man.  I wanted to see the world from Lincoln's eyes as much as possible.  The museum gave me this profound and I would even say spiritual experience.  Something I will always be grateful for and never forget.

I will not go into detail about the museum itself.  Let's just say that the experience left me with a small taste of what Lincoln had to walk through.  I know all leaders have to deal with dilemmas and decisions that effect multitudes, not only in the present but in the generations to come.  It is what Lincoln was up against and how he responded that amazes me.

The big "Aha" that I took away from my visit to the museum, was born from this analysis:  

Lincoln had a job to do.  His job was to keep the states unified.  As president, that was his primary focus and what his office mandated him to do.  From what I can tell, the Civil War was not just about the issue of slavery, it was about the issue of FREEDOM.  It is my understanding that the South wanted to be separate because they were afraid that they would lose their freedom to own slaves.  As an American, I love my freedom.  And to the South, this freedom was probably just as sacred to them as it is to us today.

Today, we don't even ponder the idea that slavery was moral and right to many during that time.  But why was it?  It is obvious to me that the assumption (or principle that our country says it is founded on) is not what many believed. Slave owners had to believe that all men were NOT created equal, or possibly the word "men" was not well defined in our Declaration of Independence.   It seems like a no -brainer today to know that slavery is wrong.  Well, maybe some still think it's right, but now it is illegal.  Thanks to Lincoln.

Lincoln must have been keenly aware that he was walking on thin ice when he was putting moral decisions into law, and taking away the freedom of many to decide what is moral and what is immoral.  

And then it hit me.  Is it OK for our government to make laws based on moral principles?  And where are those moral principles written?  And what if the government didn't step in and make a law based on morality...would we still have slavery?  Honestly, I believe we might.

I believe that Lincoln was an abolitionist in his heart, and he knew that making slavery illegal was stepping on the toes of freedom and messing with the boundaries of church and state.  He set the stage for continued battles for passing laws with moral issues.  It is still going on today.

I thank God for men like Lincoln.  Freedom is a beautiful thing, but freedom without morality is ugly.  If everyone lives by their own personal moral code, what is the end result?  

"Good-bye" Spokane

I have lived in Spokane for most of my 58 years...and now I am replanting myself in Illinois to be with my 2 daughters and their families.  And I will be leaving my other daughter, family members and some very dear friends.  In addition, I am leaving a career of 30+ years.

I won't go into to the rhymes and reasons.  Let's just say that the timing was apparent.

"I am moving away." 

Many people have said those exact words a few times in their life.  Now it is my turn and I hate it.  I love where I am going and I love what I am leaving behind.  Besides all the planning and packing, their is a plethora of emotion...but the hardest one to experience is the "last" good-bye.

I know that all this emotion will eventually pass away.  Everyone's life will go on and a new staus quo will be created.  It is very much like giving birth, except that I have the choice about how much emotion I want to experience.  Emotional pain is different that way...one can choose to not experience it.   You cannot choose to escape physical pain, but what about emotional suffereing?

I know a lot of people, including myself that will go to great lengths to avoid the pain of loss.  The ways to do it are numerus.  Lots and lots of literature is out there on how to "deal" with emotional pain.  After all, isn't avoiding pain and seeking pleasure what we are wired to do as humans?

I had my last day of work yesterday.  Not only was I ending a career, but leaving some very dear co-workers.  Everyone I said "good-bye" to had their own way of doing so.  But the one I will always remember was the one who deeply embraced me for a long time.  I could hear him swallowing his tears, as the tears flowed from my eyes.  Reflecting on that memory today, the tears are streaming again.  Even though I have so much to get done today, I want to embed this "painful" memory deep into my soul. 

Grief seems to be so entangled with Love, that I cannot tell the difference.   Jesus promised us life to the fullest.  I always saw a "full" life as meaning  full of the "good" stuff.  I am beginning to think that He may have meant the fullness of our emotional life as well. 

I have some more "last" goodbyes to walk through and I am not looking forward to them.  Our world is too busy for all this exhausting emotion... and yet emotion is the only way to know the depth of our connections.

There is another emotion that is a "choice".  And that is gratitude.  I have missed many opportunities to thank so many of the people in my life.  And how do I thank a city?  I don't know what that even means.

All I know is "Good-bye Spokane... and thank you."

"Entitlement"

"Entitlement" is kind of buzz word going around these days.  It has a negative connotation, in that most of us use it to judge someone who thinks they deserve something even though they did not earn it. 

I ponder this term, because I puzzle over the question, "What exactly makes a person entitled to anything?"   People will jump right onto the bandwagon of believing that hard work should be rewarded.  There is something satisfying about feeling that I "earned" or "deserve" it, whatever it is.

But where does  this belief come from and is it really the truth?  I am told I am entitled to more money than the people who work under me, because I went to college and "deserve" it.  So perhaps I was born with more brains and opportunities than them.  Maybe they had the same opportunities and did not take advantage of them or maybe they didn't have the same gifts and circumstances.  Is my sense of entitlement really necessary, or am I just trying to justify the idea that I deserve more when I actually don't. 

So what are we entitled to?  At one point we are all equal...the moment of birth.  At that time some people are born with more genetic gifts than others, or into a better environment.  Some people are even born with a blood line that makes them "royalty".  Or some "needy" people feel entitled because of their plight. Over time, most of us come to believe that some people are entitled to more than others for a multitude of reasons.

Who deserves what?  And who decides?  I don't know the answer to that.  But I do know that a sense of "entitlement" has the potential to do great harm at any level. What do I deserve?  Perhaps the consequences of my actions, but even that is not a given.

No, I am not entitled to anything.  ALL of it has been given to me by God, including my freedom to use or abuse it.  I don't know why some are born with "less", or why life isn't fair. But I believe anyone rich or poor, lucky or unlucky, who carries an attitude of entitlement...will never know God.

"Indeed there are those who are last who will be first, and first who will be last."  Luke 13:30