My daughter has a blog with Tip Tuesday. Every week she writes a tip for Moms. I decided to steal her idea and have Word Wednesday. In her blog she has a character called "The Pragmatist". My blog is different, because it offers nothing useful. Here is her blog to read instead (or in addition), if you would like something more...pragmatic. http://holdingthedistaff.blogspot.com/
So back to my blog. I love to think about words: how we use them, what they mean, their power, their affect on people's emotions and reactions. Words have the power to communicate or cause great barriers to understanding. For myself, I make a lot of assumptions about when I use a certain word and what it means to the person I am talking with. I just assume they think it means what I do. However, defining every word we used and what it truly means, would be kind of crazy.
There are even books written about ONE word. When psychologists do research, they have to define not the word itself, but the contruct of it. For example, "motivation" has to be defined and measureable. It really gets quite messy. If you are interested in this, you would have to take a course on psychometrics. Basically, it is taking our unclear emotional vocabulary and trying to put it in a measureable scientific box. So think about that, next time you are reading the latest psychological data.
Today's word is "chronic". I really despise this word. It is defined as long standing, or something that has gone on for a very long time. In my profession, we use the word for chronic illness, chronic headache or back pain, chronic fatigue. Anyway, you get the picture. I think that those of us in the medical field don't care for the diagnosis of "chronic" much because it might mean this:
We cannot do much to make any difference. It fills us and our patients with a sense of defeat. The only answer we can come up with is "learn to live with it". I don't think anybody likes to say or hear these words. So for me, "chronic" brings up feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. Those are the two hallmark feelings of depression. So, chronic "disease" may beget chronic complaining, which may lead to chronic answer seeking, which may lead to chronic depression.
Alas, I have no answer to remedy chronic conditions. Perhaps "learning to live with it" is all I can offer. So that is why I don't like this word. For me, it messes with my "healer" fantasy.
Why doesn't anyone use the word "chronic" in an upbeat way. Can you imagine if we did? Yes, Ralph has a chronic smile on his face and Sara has chronic happiness syndrome.
Yes...CHRONIC HAPPINESS SYNDROME! Just imagine the MD writing this on your medical history. Of course, to diagnosis it, she would assess for a set of symptoms. One of those symptoms might be not complaining. And then that might go under the symptom of denial. So the MD might then send you to a counselor to work through your denial. Imagine sitting in the chair for your first visit. The counselor says, "What brings you here?" And you happily reply, "Oh, I have Chronic Happiness Syndrome." The good counselor breaks down the walls of denial, and you are cured! NO WAIT... there is no cure for this. Remember? It is CHRONIC.
The point? It is just a word. And like all words, it can have the power to define and shape our lives. In my life and my profession, I have fallen victim to all the associations our society makes with it. The reality is: we are all just people...not labels...just people.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Just like a car....
Fasten your seat belt, because I am going to take you on an extended metaphor trip....
In so many ways, I am just like a car. I have not worn a pedometer all my life, so I don't know my mileage. I also don't know how much real wear and tear I have sustained over the 57 years since this human vehicle was loaned out to me. I am pretty sure it is a loaner. I may be the original user, but I did not create this make and model. My parents might have, but then who created their make and model?
I have an exterior and interior. I have an electrical, cooling, and exhaust system...just to name a few. I have mechanical parts called joints, bones, and muscles that like a car become worn out over time. I am sure there are things under the hood that can't even be reached or diagnosed. Anyway, I think you get the picture.
Cars take a lot of upkeep if they are going to last awhile. It is called maintenance and repair. We all know how much time, money and energy it takes to keep anything running smoothly and to extend its lifetime. The more complicated the vehicle, the more resources seem to be needed.
Cars are pretty complicated. There are specialists for body work, cool paint jobs, and engine work. Some mechanics are specialized in different areas, like mufflers or brakes. Still others specialize in specific makes and models.
Human vehicles have a disadvantage because EVERY single one around is its own unique make and model. We try to make people fit certain categories, to make diagnostics easier...but we are talking about VERY complex and ONE OF A KIND vehicles. This can make repair and maintenance very challenging at times. People do not come with a PERSONAL MANUAL! And to make matters worse, they do not come with a warranty or a guarantee.
But there is more... besides dealing with the complex physical aspects... the human vehicle has EMOTIONS and FREEDOM. And these emotional aspects are ALSO complex and unique. I am responsible for taking care of this vehicle loaned to me. Without a personal manual and with more and more knowledge of this complexity... I become VERY AGITATED... my engine revs, I don't know which gear to pick. I get stuck in the mud and spin my wheels. This is NOT good for my vehicle! And while I am busy figuring out what it needs and how to meet those needs, I miss the trip I am on.
There is more... I feel like I am on the trip alone sometimes. Nobody knows my make and model but me. But I am really happy there are other vehicles on the road. Some don't follow the rules and I can get road rage. But for the most part, they too are trying to make this trip without too many breakdowns. Knowing all of this can at times make me feel overwhelmed and alone. And knowing all of this has filled me with compassion and grace for my fellow travelers... but only when my tank is full of God's fuel...better known as LOVE.
In so many ways, I am just like a car. I have not worn a pedometer all my life, so I don't know my mileage. I also don't know how much real wear and tear I have sustained over the 57 years since this human vehicle was loaned out to me. I am pretty sure it is a loaner. I may be the original user, but I did not create this make and model. My parents might have, but then who created their make and model?
I have an exterior and interior. I have an electrical, cooling, and exhaust system...just to name a few. I have mechanical parts called joints, bones, and muscles that like a car become worn out over time. I am sure there are things under the hood that can't even be reached or diagnosed. Anyway, I think you get the picture.
Cars take a lot of upkeep if they are going to last awhile. It is called maintenance and repair. We all know how much time, money and energy it takes to keep anything running smoothly and to extend its lifetime. The more complicated the vehicle, the more resources seem to be needed.
Cars are pretty complicated. There are specialists for body work, cool paint jobs, and engine work. Some mechanics are specialized in different areas, like mufflers or brakes. Still others specialize in specific makes and models.
Human vehicles have a disadvantage because EVERY single one around is its own unique make and model. We try to make people fit certain categories, to make diagnostics easier...but we are talking about VERY complex and ONE OF A KIND vehicles. This can make repair and maintenance very challenging at times. People do not come with a PERSONAL MANUAL! And to make matters worse, they do not come with a warranty or a guarantee.
But there is more... besides dealing with the complex physical aspects... the human vehicle has EMOTIONS and FREEDOM. And these emotional aspects are ALSO complex and unique. I am responsible for taking care of this vehicle loaned to me. Without a personal manual and with more and more knowledge of this complexity... I become VERY AGITATED... my engine revs, I don't know which gear to pick. I get stuck in the mud and spin my wheels. This is NOT good for my vehicle! And while I am busy figuring out what it needs and how to meet those needs, I miss the trip I am on.
There is more... I feel like I am on the trip alone sometimes. Nobody knows my make and model but me. But I am really happy there are other vehicles on the road. Some don't follow the rules and I can get road rage. But for the most part, they too are trying to make this trip without too many breakdowns. Knowing all of this can at times make me feel overwhelmed and alone. And knowing all of this has filled me with compassion and grace for my fellow travelers... but only when my tank is full of God's fuel...better known as LOVE.
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